Prioritizing joy
Joy isn’t a distraction, it’s essential
👋 Hi, I’m Theresa. Welcome to my newsletter on personal and professional growth, where I explore what it means to live and lead well in tech. Learn more about me and my 1:1 leadership coaching practice at theresaaristarco.com.
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In the fall of 2024, I completed the Artist’s Way for the first time. (I’m doing it again this fall.) It is a 12-week program, written as a 12-chapter book, designed to inspire creative and intentional living.
This prompt, presented in week 2 of the program, was a shock to my system:
“List twenty things you enjoy doing (rock climbing, roller-skating, baking pies, making soup, making love, making love again, riding a bike, riding a horse, playing catch, shooting baskets, going for a run, reading poetry, and so forth). When was the last time you let yourself do these things? Next to each entry, place a date. Don’t be surprised if it has been years for some of your favorites.”
I tried, but couldn’t list twenty things I enjoyed doing - my list fizzled out around twelve.
“What the fuck?” I thought. “What has happened to me? Why is this list so hard to make?”
What gets in the way of joy?
Life. The gradual accumulation of responsibilities and expectations. Work deadlines. Rent or a mortgage. A partner, a child, an aging parent, a pet. All needing your attention, often at the same time. Friends to stay in touch with. Groceries to buy. Texts to return. A body to take care of. The mental load that never really lets up.
That’s what happened to me. In addition to the standard adult-life-accumulation, my career progressed quickly, and so did work pressure and stress. And then came the real knockout: a chronic illness took over my body, and even basic movement became difficult. In that season, joy was mostly out of the picture. I only thought of it if there was time left over, any gas left in the tank, if everything else was done.
I’ve realized that framing held me back: joy is essential, not supplemental.
Reframing joy
I now see joy as a critical resource. It creates energy, focus, motivation, connection, and creativity. It increases resilience and makes space for the kind of leadership people actually want to follow. It’s also one of the most sustainable and accessible ways to come back to yourself.
The recent Harvard Business Review article “How the Busiest People Find Joy” touches on this idea too. It names joy, along with achievement and meaning, as one of the three key ingredients to a fulfilling life, and the most elusive of the three unless actively pursued. The article emphasizes that joy doesn’t just happen on its own. Like any priority, it has to be planned for.
Similarly, the inspiring Michelle Obama recently said in a panel, “You have to plan your joy.”
When you prioritize joy, even in small ways, you give yourself a consistent source of energy to work from. That doesn’t just help you, it helps your relationships, your work, and your broader world.
Reconnecting with joy
The Artist’s Way gave me language and structure for reintroducing joy and creativity back into my life. The program includes two consistent practices: morning pages, which are three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing each morning, and artist dates, which are weekly solo outings designed purely for play, curiosity, and delight. There’s no productivity goal attached to either one. That’s the point - to show up for yourself, your joy, and see where it takes you.
Those practices helped me pay more attention to how I was spending my time and why. I started trying things I had been curious about for years. I learned how to make sourdough, spent time in the garden, and experimented with mixed media art. I didn’t do these things because I thought they were useful. I did them because they felt good. They reminded me that I had access to energy through joy, even in a body and life that had recently been very limited by chronic illness.
Where you can start
You don’t need to take a sabbatical or take on all of The Artist’s Way to reconnect with joy. You don’t even need to know exactly what would bring you joy. You can start small, and build from there.
You could try:
The above prompt. Can you list twenty things you enjoy doing?
Putting your phone across the room so that you don’t reach for it first thing in the morning. Instead, journal, sip coffee or tea, and see what comes up.
Setting aside time to try something you’re curious about, with no pressure to be good at it. Just try.
Try noticing where “I should” shows up and ask what you actually want. Joy tends to live in the “want.”
None of these are novel ideas. But when practiced consistently, I know they work. They helped me feel more grounded and more capable. They gave me access to a steadier version of myself, even when things around me were uncertain or hard. And over time, that has added up. I’m now bullish on joy.
This fall, I’m leading a small group course based on The Artist’s Way, the same 12-week program that helped me reconnect with creativity, energy, and joy.
You can read more about the group here. I’d love for you to join us.
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Love this,Terri- words of wisdom for everyone!